Dear Friends,
Sorry I have been so inactive on this blog recently. Have been translating the Social Fitness Model into a model that can be used in business for conducting courageous conversations related to ethics and to the way people are treated. For example, if you see a team-mate being put down by another colleague you have a chance to speak up on behalf of your values using the Social Fitness Model. You can check out some of the first uses at www.heroicimagination.org.
I have also been studying and incorporating aspects of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Compassion Focused Therapy into my Social Fitness Model for working with shyness and social anxiety in groups and with individuals.
What I want to do today, however, is recommend an article to you written by Susan Cain that appeared in the NY Times opinion section on September 15th. It is called, "Must Great Leaders be Gregarious?" Her answer is very similar to mine in my Shy Leaders Study, where the resounding answer is NO. She finds, as I did, and according to Jim Collins, who studied the best-performing companies going through intense change in the late 20th century, these companies were all led by CEO's who were known for their intense determination, will, and dedication, and were also described as "reserved" and "shy". Shyness and introversion are correlated, and it may be that, just as shyness is inappropriately negatively stereotyped in our culture, so is introversion. In fact, negatively stereotyping introversion may lead to problematic shyness, that is, a tendency to inhibit yourself because of a concern that you will be judged negatively. Susan uses a great example, this time a former Marine commandant. She also wrote a great book that I may have mentioned to you before, called "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking."
Check out the article. I'd love to hear your comments. It will help me get back to interviewing more shy leaders!
p.s. Good grief, I noticed that my last blog also referred to an article of hers. I really do need to get back to the shy leaders study. I want all of you who want to lead to do so, based on your values and what you care about. I believe it is the most powerful kind of leadership.
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I am introverted and shy, hence my blog handle, and I believe that negative comments about my introversion led me to become extremely shy as a teenager. That shyness has persisted into adulthood, though it's not half as bad as it used to be. Somehow I managed to get married and have some semblance of a career, but I can barely speak up in meetings and work at a lower level than I should.
ReplyDeleteYou have said the magic words. It is not half as bad as it used to be. You can continue to grow by continuing to work at it, often using some of the same behaviors and attitudes that helped you come this far. Just say one thing in a meeting. Smile and make eye contact with people even if you don't say anything. Agree with something out loud, or say what you appreciate about someone or some action that was taken. Everyone needs reinforcement and it will build your confidence to say more.
DeleteI am an extremely shy film producer that has struggled with social shyness my entire life. As such, I decided to produce a film about a socially awkward individual that eventually finds his inner strength and confidence.
ReplyDeleteI deeply appreciate any contributions that will help bring my film “Dead Wrong” to fruition. To donate to this project or view more details please visit http://igg.me/at/deadwrong/x/2351057
Below is a brief synopsis about the film:
“DEAD WRONG”
Synopsis by Mark Damon Britain
“DEAD WRONG” Can be described as “THE GAME’ meets “TWELVE ANGERY MEN” and explores the inherent ability to survive at any cost in even the meekest of men. It’s the story of a seemingly unappreciated and shy office worker who is forced to leave the confines of his concrete jungle to spend the weekend with strangers. Although the introverted office worker struggles to fit in, he eventually finds himself going beyond all imaginable limits, as he must fight for his innocence as well as his life. On the brink of destruction, he ultimately discovers that things are not exactly as they appear.
“DEAD WRONG” is an adrenaline pumping “who done it” with a twist for people that feel they have lost the courage to stand up to life. It’s an adventurous quest about valor, determination and how even the most passive of souls can possess raw animalistic survival skills if pushed far enough.
For more information please email britainfilms@msn.com
Thank you for your interest